i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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