If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
And then he peed in my hair
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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