i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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