Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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