he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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