I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
