turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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