somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
