how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize