even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
