but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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