Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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