Can i not drive my cunt home
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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