I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
