I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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