so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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