I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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