Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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