Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
he fucked my hip out of place.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
