Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Randomize
