I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
