oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
