I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
