It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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