he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
3 2 1 whiskey
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
