i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
