just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
