my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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