I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
