We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
