Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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