i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Sacagawea was the original milf.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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