my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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