literally had 100 drinks last night.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
