You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
