My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
