Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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