what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
