I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
we should paint friendship bongs
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