did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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