HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
