i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
