But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I can't turn off my feet"
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
