He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
