O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
