hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
