Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
