the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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