Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
