can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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