It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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